Killer Queen
by Iori-chan-sempai
Summary: GSD, Shinn PoV, randomness. Take it from Shinn, Rey's a killer queen.


Written the same day as Firsts, I just disputed for a few days whether I should put it up. Alas, I have decided to.

Shinn PoV, OOCness and sillyness abound. Allusions to my song of choice, Killer Queen by Queen.

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You know, it was a bad idea to give Rey that display case for Christmas. He insisted on locking his fellow crewmembers in there for his personal amusement throughout the day. It wasn't bad enough that he'd been researching that one Scottish queen. Mary, was it? Well, whatever, the fact was he was doing impressions of her was more than startling. I mean, if I saw him in the hall, saying some Mary Antionette quotation I would have laughed my head off. But I don't pass him in the halls, oh no, I practically lived with him. There wasn't a way to avoid him! It's not like I could ever say "Haha, no thanks..." to listening to what he'd learned about the woman, everyday... all he had to do was wait until I was in our room. I'd tried to sneak into Luna and Meyrin's room once but, uh... it had worked out alot better in my head.

And those two thought Rey was the perfect little gentleman! "Oh, he's beautiful! Even better looking than I am!" they say, but all they saw was a illusion! It's all an illusion, I say! But nooo, don't listen to Shinn, 'All the smoke and fish eggs have gone to his head,' you say. 'Rey has manners, unlike most men, especially the ones in the military! I bet he's a real softy on the inside depsite his emotionless act!'

Whatever, ladies. Feel free to take my place as his roommate, so he can stick YOU in that goddamned glass case or use YOU for target practice! Che, you'd probably just think he was flirting with you or something. Girls are so weird. I mean, 'teehee, he said he's not interested... he must be shy!' No. Just no. And you get mad at us when we stand on your lawn for months after confessing our love. Atleast we don't delude ourselves like you do.

But you might want to watch out if you decide to laugh at him about how he hasn't been able to hit you. When he pulls that plasma rifle, RUN FAR AWAY, I TELL YOU. HE WILL NOT MISS AGAIN. And it's good to be on the look out for that genuine guillotine he bought off of Ebay too. He says he was looking for a 22nd century laser execution device when he fell in love with it at first sight. Yeah... Just remembering that gives me a migraine. It's a good thing he got a discount for it BECAUSE HE STOLE HALF MY PAYCHECK TO PAY FOR IT. He said that'd he'd pay me back in meals, but I'm still waiting, that bastard.

On an equally weird, but somewhat cheerfully note, he stopped acting like some kind of secret agent. That was worse than his Mary Antionette phase. I think he had a different accent, name and address every week for a couple months, ugh.

And did I mention his perfume collection already? No? Well, he has one. It's GIANT. He wouldnt be able to fit it in his display case if he put it in there! Yet _somehow _he manages to have it onboard the ship somewhere where I cant find it! What the hell, man? He has a bottle from every country and colony that have ever existed. (He seems to have a bit of an affinity for Gaul's lilac scent... I prefer Heliopolis' "Ecstasy", myself. I mean, uh...)

I was snooping around his side of the room looking for it once, and I found this neat little compartment thingy in the wall. I was just about to find out if that's where his stash was when Rey came in and ruined it! I still want to know who the hell let him leave the firing range with his gun? I need to kick them in the nads, I mean freaking seriously. As much as some people would have enjoyed residing on some blond pretty-boy's bed as they stood over you, uuh, I assure you it isn't that much fun. Especially when they have a scary look in their eye, gun in their hand and are asking if you want to play Louis XVI with them.

I don't even remember how I survived that one. Maybe Rey realized he'd have to explain it to the Chairman and stopped. I dunno. I just woke up the next morning with something like a hangover in his bed. He wasnt in there or anything (damn sickos) I could just tell it was his bed because... it was clean. Kch, and when I saw him next he had this smug look on his face. He said I'd fainted. I don't faint! IM A MAN. Rey might faint, but I don't! I fall unconscious, I black out, I pass out, BUT I DO NOT FAINT. ROAR. Fainting is for girls. And men who look like girls.

Damnit, that would have been such a good comeback now that I think about it. About a month too late, but it would have been good! ...I really just glared at him, fearing for my life. There should be a rule that says "crewmembers may not use or threaten to use (with words or gesture) live ammunition on other crewmembers" somewhere.

I swear Rey is going to cause the loss of my life or my sanity. Damnit. I need to shoot something. Oh, of course, Rey's already here. I swear he just shoots things, flaunts some false image of himself for the ladies and makes my life hell all day. No, don't look over here. I just want to shoot the target and pretend it's you! Nothing more! STOP AIMING AT ME, YOU BASTARD. ...Why is there not a monitor for this place!

Hah, missed me. Loser.

AH, FUCK, I WAS KIDDING! PUT THE RIFLE DOWN!


End file.
